Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
