my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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