Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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