Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
