i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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