i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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