remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
