it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize