At least make sure they are 18
Why
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize