My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
