I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there was a trapeze. enough said
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
