I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
