My first STD was from a foam party
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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