You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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