Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
