I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
