listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
