im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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