Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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