I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
