it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
PANTIES FOUND
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