Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
