My brain says no but my pants say off.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
