New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
