naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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