Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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