it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize