wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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