Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
false alarm. still invincible.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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