lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
