I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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