dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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