Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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