Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
