There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
third nipple confirmed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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