come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
