I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
