escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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