i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
