I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
