Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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