You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
