We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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