is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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