i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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