Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
