I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
