Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
