you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
