I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
