Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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