THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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