at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize