mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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