a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
