So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
