Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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