The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You took a bar mat shot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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