If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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