drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again