The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.