The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
