apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sorry about my life...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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