sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
