Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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