I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
